Thursday, April 19, 2012

I Declare Today is Wash Your Entire Living Room Day

I'm having an Easy Care Extra Heavy Gentle Fast Cold Rinse kind of a day.
First I awoke to Lucian exclaiming, "Mommy! Keagan just peed on the floor right there in front of the gate!"

Sure enough, there was a diaper-less little cherub running around the living room, asking for more water for his sippy cup.

I used the last of the carpet cleaner to clean up the mess. Went into the bathroom and stepped in a puddle on the floor. I assume it was also pee.

When did we get a puppy?

Got the kids cleaned up, dressed and off to school to drop off Lucian at Kindergarten. My only saving grace this morning so far was not encountering any asshole morning parent drivers. Ah, but the day is still young and there's always afternoon pick up.

Then I got busy refilling all that needed to be refilled throughout the house while Keagan quietly played in the living room.

Wait. Quietly? Well that's a red flag that something is amiss now isn't it?

And now we come to...

Exhibit A
Evidently, Keagan thinks our carpet needs more flavor so he decided to raid our spice rack and dump sprinkle cinnamon and —I'm gonna guess— Italian seasoning — onto the carpet. And the chairs. And the throws. (I know they're called throws but because you throw them on a piece of furniture, not the floor.)

Exhibit B
Do you see the footprints in the cinnamon?

This is precisely why we have crap furniture covered up with slip covers and decorative throws.

Right now my entire living room is in the washing machine preparing for the rinse cycle.

I have yet to vacuum the floor because I have yet to eat breakfast. It's already 11:30 am — or it's only 11:30 am — the glass is neither half empty or half full around here because it's usually been spilled out onto the floor.

The floor can wait and I need a freakin nap while Dr. Destructo is napping.

Why bother getting mad when I can just get even?

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