December 7, 2007

play-DOH in my wedding ring

Blue play-doh to be precise. blink blink blink goes my cursor on my screen. My mind is racing. There are so many things I want to blog about it makes me tired just thinking about thinking. Does that ever happen to you?

I can hear my son squealing (sp? hmm, this blogger widget on my dashboard doesn't have a built in spell checker and that's a bummer. I've now gotten into the habit of tap-tapping (I'm pushin a track pad so that's the same as a right click) on the word with the squiggly under it and clicking on the suggested corrected spelling in the contextual menu. Hmmm. Does that make me a bad person becaue I'm lazy? I know how to spell and I know how to touch-type but it seems I'm not always the best at doing both at the same time. Oh gawd. Yawn. This post is boring even me now. I don't even know if I have a point. Yes I do. I do somewhere in this brain and probably a million of them but they're all tied up in one huge clusterfu*!k right now. Like the fact that I'm not really all that comfortable with swearing on my blog. It's MY blog dammit! Who the hell cares?!

That's another topic within another topic for another time which I'm sure will come and go and then I'll forget all about it and never post about it. – or WILL I? perhaps if I just type like this stream of consciousness style maybe the brain constipation will yield the brain fart I so desperately (damn, miss spell check) need right now so I can unclog my mind.

Perhaps blogging is some form of mental Metamusil? Oh wait, is that the stuff that loosens you up or blocks you up? I can't remember. It's kind of like lefty loosey righty tighty. Wait. Bad example, that rhymes so that has to be right. doh I mean correct. Ok, it's like liquor before beer never sicker beer before wine always fine. I know that ryhmes but that doesn't mean I remembered the damn phrase correctly in the first place so it doesn't really help me so that's probably why I don't drink! (much)

Oh damn, running out of space on my widget so I guess I'll have to switch over to the web app. Perhaps I might look into the email version of doing this. crap.

Ok, so where was I? Oh yeah, so my son was squealing (oh, thank God, spell check is back) outside in the living room where his father is letting him run around wild. Yeah, he started doing the screeching thing about a month ago. I think. What's time to anyone. I'm lucky if I remembered to put the milk back in the fridge and the cereal back in the cupboard and not the other way around. Of course, the reason I try so hard to remember to do that correctly is because the first and last time I did that, I ended up taking a pregnancy test that was positive. Sometimes I'm tempted to do it just to freak out Hubby. Teee hee hee hee.

So why was I writing about my son squealing? I guess it has something to do with the fact that I'm hiding out in our little home office again trying to get my geek on and have some me time. I can't stand the new noise he has discovered how to make. It should be only a sound that dogs hear but I can hear it and it hurts my ears.

We've been spending a lot of time cleaning up the house and organizing stuff that got unorganized – or never organized in the first place – and getting ready for Christmas. Lately I have been so wanting to purge so many things. I can't believe some of the crap we save. WHY? Why are we such packrats? Luckily both Nate and I are pretty united on trying to not be like our packrat parents who are children of parents who survived the Depression. Let's try not to make this Depression like the last one, shall we?

Oh, and BTW, when I say 'we' I really mean mostly me. (wait, that's not really all that fair, Hubby has busted some butt moving stuff for me and helping out but it's the look he gives me or the heavy sigh I hear whenever I ask to pull out his teeth, oops, I mean whenever I ask him for help with a "project" that makes it feeeeeeeel like I'm the one doing all the work because thinking about making the house look nice is a lot of hard work!! dammit) –

What is there to get ready might you ask? Well, for starters, we haven't been keeping up with the house as much this past year and a half because we had a b-b-b-baby who is now a ta-ta-ta-toddler. So as you can imagine (I hope other people are slobs like us) our schtuff has just been schtuck here and there and everywhere. Yeah, sometimes I do think we live in a house that could come out of a Dr. Seuss book.

In lieu of recent events, i.e. my in-laws selling their home and trying to find a place here in Tucson because my FIL had to move off the mountain (health reasons due to high altitude) and in with us (not going to go there) (although I so baaadly want to but I just shouldn't) we have (the whole immediate family) decided to have Christmas here at our little place.

We live in a very small rancher with 3 bedrooms, 2 of which are small. Thank God we have 2 bathrooms though. There will be 8 people here (including us) for about a week that have to do the 4 Ses. (SSSS) (shit, shave, shower and sleep) I think we can pretty much forget about the 5th S. (sex)

Needless to say, it's going to be - how they say - cozy.

Now, my husband's family are the type of people who are so easy going and accommodating it makes me crazy because I'm just not used to it. Truth be told, I could just leave the house exactly the way it is and they wouldn't care and they would sleep on the roof if we asked them to. But, that's not how I was raised. I was brought up to go insane when people are coming to visit or stay in your home. The house has to be clean and accommodating like with nice guest towels out and clean sheets and pillows and the floor vacuumed and stuff put away. No lube laying out in plain view.

Hah! just wanted to see if you were paying attention. Oh, there is so much I could say about that but I just shouldn't.

It's like I'm writing this blog with my legs crossed. I'm just not sure how far I want to go with this, but that's another topic for another time that will probably come and go and by the time it does I'll be over it. And if I'm not, then maybe just maybe I'll blog about it. Or maybe someone else already has blogged about it and I'll just post to them and tell them, yeah, ditto, me too, thanks for putting that out there. (I'm so sure.)

There are people who say out loud or in text what other people think. I think I just think what other people think and then regurgitate it in my ADHD-flavored sort of way. It's all just packaged a little differently, ya know. You may say it with green and then I see how it looks in purple with yellow stripes.

So anyhow, I've been spending much of my time in between playing with the screecher, trying to get the house a little more re-organized. I got some stuff accomplished today but never as much as I want and I guess that's just the reality of it.

So, I sat down on the floor and played with my son and tried to show him how play-doh works. I made a really cool color by mixing the bright fluorescent red with the purplish red. It was cool. Lucian hasn't quite gotten that it's fun to moosh the stuff together. He's more interested in playing with the canisters. I was having fun. I was sooooo tempted to mix all the colors together but I refrained because I want to do that with him when he's a little more focused on the actual play-doh instead of the containers. I'm trying to teach him about colors.

In the process of all of this, I noticed that I had gotten some blue play-doh caked into my wedding ring. At first, I was like, oh crap, how am I going to get that out? Thank God it didn't get in between the diamonds. I think this is one of the reasons why I don't wear an engagement ring and didn't even want one.

Well, ok, let's be honest, I would love to have an engagement ring but only because it looks pretty and it's what everyone else wears. For me personally though, it's just not practical. I would probably injure someone with it or lose it or break it. I have a whole other deep philosophy about engagement rings but you know, another time that will come and go...another fleeting thought.

I think that's one of the biggest reasons why I blog - to help me remember stuff. I plan on using this as a diary of some sort to go back and reflect on later and hopefully be able to go back in and elaborate on all of these thoughts that I had bigger plans for.

So, back to the wedding ring with the play-doh in it. As I examined my wedding ring with blue play-doh stuck in it, it made me smile and a little weepy too. Whenever I look at my ring, I think about how much I love my husband and I'll never forget the first (or the second) time he placed it on my finger. Actually, he jammed it onto my finger because we were on a boat at the time and he was terrified he was going to slip and drop it overboard. It signified to me that life is pretty good if I am able to sit on the floor with my young son and play with play-doh and get messy. There was a time in my life not so long ago that I thought I would never have this opportunity. I thought that motherhood or being a wife was just going to pass me by much like the thoughts I have that never make it to my blog.

I'm happy that life is more like a box of chocolates than a blog. You can try to format it and edit it but in the end, you just don't know what you're going to get or which color play-doh will end up in your wedding ring.

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