January 27, 2008

Day 1, Week 2

Something Is Different
There is a big empty space in our bedroom where Lucian's crib used to be. Yep, the big boy is now sleeping in his own room. I say he is sleeping 'now' but I know darn well I'm going to jinx myself by saying anything and it will be a miracle if I can finish this post before he wakes up screaming.

It's a strange feeling. I have a bit of anxiety over it. I have mixed feelings. I look around our bedroom now and there isn't really anything of his in here anymore. There is a photo frame of him on my nightstand, but that's about it. I bet if I dug around a little, I could probably find a sock of his hiding under our covers. If there isn't one there now, there will most likely be one there before the night is through because I've already made a deal with myself and him that if he wakes up in a panic attack in the middle of the night and can't get back to seep on his own, I'll bring him to bed with us.

I know I shouldn't but we'll see how it goes. Baby steps for both of us.

Man, I feel so guilty for sticking him all the way over there all alone but it's been long overdue. It just had to happen. I'm a little on edge my ears perking up at all the little noises, but nothing is coming out of the baby monitor, so far so good.

I even set up a little touch lamp on a table next to his crib and showed him how to use it to turn on the light if he needs to. He he he he, so funny...most parents give their kids a lovey — some kind of stuffed animal to comfort them. Nope, not my kid. He would sleep with that lamp IN his crib if I'd let him. MY kid wants to cuddle up to something electronic for comfort.

Health Journal - Week 2
Well, on Friday I got hit like a ton of bricks with some flu bug thing. It started out as a head cold and then I got achy. Nate was just getting over the same thing and Lucian has had a runny nose for the past couple of days. Luckily we've all gotten our flu shots so I'm hoping the worst of it has passed. I started feeling much better today, but I know I'm not out of the woods yet. I fear it's one of those colds where you start to feel better and back to yourself and then you go back to doing everything full throttle instead of taking it easy and then you end up even more sick. Soooo, I am going to try to take it easy for the next couple of days. I'm going to try and give myself permission to be a little lazy whenever I can.

It won't be easy since I begin teaching my weekly adult night courses this Tuesday and Lucian has some appointments on Thursday and Friday.

Normally, each Sunday, my goal is to post about my progress with my adventures in weight loss. Well, since I got sick, I haven't had the energy to work out. And, get this....I broke my freekin scale!! ha ha ha Actually, it's a digital and I've had it for several years now and the thing finally started reporting a Lo light on it indicating that the battery was low. Well, now it's dead. The reason it's dead is because it takes a fergin 9 volt battery. This is not a popular battery that lives in the junk drawers in our house. I know there is one somewhere but I have yet to find it. Oh, who the hell am I kidding, I have yet to LOOK for one either.

So, I can't weigh myself and I was too lazy to go dig out the measuring tape. I'm sick, remember? I'm just happy right at this moment because I can breathe out of both nostrils at the same time and I've been able to type this whole thing so far without sneezing or blowing my nose.

Butt — ha, get it, butt — I did post about my progress in which there has been none so does that count for anything? It is part of the program right? I'm still holding myself accountable for the plan, right? This past week, I didn't pig out on any junk food and I did, up until Friday, work out every other day. I also tried to up my water intake and I was good at taking my vitamins each day. I think I may have forgotten yesterday though.

So that's that. I came, I blogged, so there.

Sleepless in Tucson
Oh, and another thing I'm going to try to work on is my sleeping problem. I don't normally buy into all this celebrity hype, but I have to admit, the death of Heath Ledger (RIP) has brought out an awareness to something I'm dealing with right now which is sleeping problems. I also have an undesirable relationship, in my eyes at least, with sleep aids. Every couple of days I need to take a Tylenol PM. If I don't, I don't get sleep. I could stay up for days unless I forced myself to sleep. Or at least I could go for days on a couple of hours here and a couple of hours there. That's another part of my weight problem I realize too. Not getting the sleep I need will not help me lose weight, so I know it's something I need to work on. And, I need to be able to sleep without any mother's little helpers either.

I know putting Lucian in his own room will not be some miracle cure because he has not yet weaned. I know the middle of the night feedings are part of the package, but I need to also learn along with Lucian, how to get back to sleep once I've woken up in the middle of the night. I suppose it will be a process for us both.

So, speaking of which, I soon need to close the lid and turn into a pumpkin. Sweet dreams to us all!

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